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Get Ready for Autumn

amanda_lee — Sat, 01 Oct 2011 03:56:26 +0000

Go to the thrift store and buy two large sweaters. Don’t spend too much – that’s why I’m advising to thrift them – but you’ll be glad to have them in a couple of weeks. Wear them belted over your summer dresses, with leggings and chunky socks when you’re home alone, over a romper and tights for a dinner/drinks event, or as a dress if it’s long/fitted enough. If you do this before it gets really cold, you’ll probably be able to find nicer ones – in the past week I’ve picked up a merino wool cardigan, a cashmere cardigan, a wool pullover, and a wool cape.

Dust off your knitting needles. If you don’t knit, autumn is a wonderful time to start – it only takes about a weekend to finish a nice chunky scarf. Look at Ravelry for inspiration and patterns.¹

Put film on the windows, if you live in an area that gets really freezing. I did this last year, and it made a huge difference in our heating bill.

Learn to make Thai sweet potato soup, and prepare yourself for an addiction. I used to make enormous batches and then refrigerate it for low-maintenance lunches whenever I

Switch out your drapery and your bed linens for something warmer. Last year, when we moved to Chicago in the dead of winter, I made insulated drapes for almost every room in my apartment – those drapes will make a comeback, in addition to a double-layer down comforter.

Order tights from WeLoveColors, or pick up a few pairs at a store. Don’t wait to do this, because in a few weeks, the selection is going to be all picked over, and where does that leave your legs? Um, freezing, that’s where.

Look for a good pair of boots now, before you need them. I’m lusting after these equestrian-inspired beauties from Aldo, but I’ll probably also get a more functional pair for snow.

Do your vehicle maintenance now. Get your oil changed and buy new tires if you need them. Pull out your rain suit and oil your bike chains.

Get into the habit of a workout. When it gets cold, it’s going to be really easy to slip into seasonal affective depression, and working out regularly is one of the best ways to combat that. Figure out how you’re going to make it to the gym when you don’t feel like moving.

¹I am finally giving in and learning to knit socks, despite insisting for years that I didn’t want to, because I don’t really wear them. That’s the truth; I don’t. But when I’m working at home, I spend most of my waking hours wearing a torn-up old pair of mukluk slippers, and I’m pretty sure this is going to be the year when they fall apart on me. So I’m determined to have a couple pairs of backup socks waiting in the wings.

What are you guys doing to get ready for cold weather?

Walking a Mile in Her Manolos: On Personal Finance, Internet Commenting, and Judgy McJudgertons

amanda_lee — Sun, 26 Jun 2011 00:50:12 +0000

I’m a huge fan of DailyWorth. It’s a personal finance newsletter catering to women. It covers the gamut of saving [coupons, trimming your budget, the best retirement accounts and how to take advantage of company matching], earning [negotiate a raise at work, pick up a a side job, sell your old stuff you don't use anymore], and spending [buy the things that matter to you sans guilt]. The writers also cover specific issues related to women and money – the cost of childcare, the glass ceiling, the way that most women save less than they need for retirement and are less aggressive about negotiating their wages and working conditions – which I can’t find anywhere else. It’s injected with a healthy dose of Girl Power, to be sure, but the information is 100% gold.

Friday’s edition, though, raised quite the shitstorm. And rather than weigh in on it with a lengthy comment, I’m going to put up my thoughts here.

The premise: the author spent $85 on a new pair of shoes, because they make her feel powerful, sexy, confident. I can relate to that. I think everyone who’s ever bought clothing can. We buy disposable goods like this partly because they make use feel good.

And some of the commenters went berserk. “Shoes don’t matter,” they chorused. “The only thing that matters is money in the bank, and knowledge on how to make it work for you.” More than one commenter dismissed buying shoes as a waste of time, and wagged their fingers about “spending on something that matters.”

And to those I say: Bullshit. Get down off your high[-heeled?] horse.You’re all missing the point.

Yeah, I know, it’s jarring when a personal finance blog advocates spending on something you don’t think is important. It’s completely fatuous, though, to assume that just because it’s not important to you, it shouldn’t be important to anyone. Step back, look at it in the abstract, and figure out how the principle works for you.

The article isn’t just about shoes. It’s about buying things that make us feel good. It’s about anything we’ve ever spent money on in an attempt to make us feel better, more powerful, more in control, more authoritative:

The iPad I’m saving for that’ll let me do my work on the train without killing my back lugging my enormous MacBook around
The Roomba that solves my dog hair problem, and allows me to feel like a housekeeping goddess without lifting a finger
The smart new dress someone buys for an in-person job interview…or fancy-delancey business cards you order pass out at networking events

Or anything we ever buy thinking it’s going to transform us into something we want to be:

A set of drawer organizers so we can impose order on chaos
A new notebook that we’re going to use for writing our novels
A gorgeous dish set that we plan to use in our bid to become Hostess of the Year.
Tons of yarn and knitting needles so we can finally start the Etsy shop we’ve been wanting to run since high school.

The whole purpose of personal finance is to figure out what matters to you, and how you can use your money to make that happen. There’s no point in having money at all if you can’t [or don't] use it to make your life better.

I’d like to imagine that because this was a personal finance writer, she weighed the costs and benefits of the purchase before she bought them. What’s the cost per wear? Is she going to take good care of her feet while she wears them?And, most importantly – is the rest of her financial situation in order – regular expenses, saving, little to no debt, charitable contributions, and a workable budget she’s sticking to that allows her to buy what’s important to her?

If she’s got all that sorted out, guess what? It’s none of our damn business. These shoes – though they’re not ones I’d ever buy myself – are making her life better. Which is something you can never say about finger-wagging, judging others, or self-importance.

What are some important things for you to spend money on? How do you deal with others who have different priorities?

Faithful Friend: 5.13.2011

amanda_lee — Fri, 13 May 2011 18:25:01 +0000

This blog doesn’t have nearly enough pictures of my dog. So here he is. Hachiko is named after that other dog with the same name. [Yeah, the one from the film.] He’s an incredibly intelligent border collie with a penchant for raising his eyebrows at me whenever he knows I’m lying, drunk, or withholding food that I intend to eat myself instead of giving to him. The Ugly Doll at his feet is one of his 56 toys, one of the only ones he hasn’t shredded yet. Give him time. He’ll get to it.

On Quality of Life and Money: A Survey of Sorts

amanda_lee — Thu, 12 May 2011 18:26:35 +0000

[EDIT: See footnotes.]³

What amount of money is necessary right now, if I just handed you a wad of cash in a one-off kind of deal, to make a significant difference in your quality of life?

I’m talking about the amount you would need to be able to purchase a single good or service. I’m not talking about the amount of money it would take to raise your quality of living in a long-term sense – - I might cover that later – but I’m talking about the amount you’d use to make a one-time purchase of a single object or a finite experience that doesn’t require long-term financial responsibility [affording a bigger apartment, a better car, another dog, etc].

For me, these amounts fall into two categories: one-time purchases of things that benefit me in the very short term, and one-time purchases of things that benefit me in the long term.

Short-term benefits purchases: ¹

A massage of an hour or two, $50-$125.
An hour in a sensory deprivation tank, $50. [To be honest, I've never done this - it's been on my to-do list for a couple of weeks, and I'm going to try it when I get back into town next week. If I like it, I'm going to become a regular customer there; if not, I might regress to an animal state when I'm in the tank, and you guys may not ever hear from me again.]
A single house-cleaning session, including having all my laundry done and deep-cleaning the kitchen appliances, around $125.
A single dog-grooming session, including a bath and a haircut, around $125. [Hachi's a big dog. It takes awhile.]

Long-term benefits purchases:

A new Roomba battery, around $35 with shipping. I bought a secondhand Roomba a couple weeks ago, but it came sans battery, and I haven’t been home at my Chicago apartment long enough to order one. Sweeping up dog hair happens approximately once a day, and having a functional Roomba with a functional battery would mean that I’d have to sweep up dog hair approximately never. A+.
A dishwasher, around $400 plus delivery. Chris and I are basically on the same page about everything except cleaning, and dirty dishes are a particular sore spot. [They just don't bother him. I don't get it at all.] Having a dishwasher would ease the conflict that happens when I find a days-old dish in a seldom-used portion of the sunroom and then have to leave it where he sees it so he remembers to wash it².

Do you have some thoughts on this? Come find me on Twitter and let’s talk about it.

¹ I estimated some of these prices, because I’ve never purchased some of them before in my current city, and I don’t know them to the penny amount. Also, some of the larger physical items I might be able to get at a discount and/or buy them secondhand.
²Yes, I’m talking about leaving the dish on his pillow. What about it?
³For the sake of simplicity, I chose to leave out stuff that could potentially improve my immediate quality of life, but that I already buy rather regularly – things like Thai carryout, a bowl of Forever Yogurt, a new top from a secondhand shop. These are arguably an improvement on my quality of life [otherwise, why would I purchase them?], but since they’re relatively frequent, I left them out here.

On the Road: Tales from the Chrome Dog

amanda_lee — Tue, 10 May 2011 02:27:26 +0000

Last week I told the story of my incessant Megabus trips. It gets me where I need to go, the seats are comfy, and the price is nice.

…most of the time. Sometimes, though, seats sell out really quickly [the availability of seats on the bus is inversely proportional to the price of gasoline per gallon], so sometimes I’ve sought other options. And that’s where Greyhound comes in.

The quintessential bus travel company with the chromed dog on the side realized they were losing business by the busload to the Megabus empire. Their reputation of dirty facilities and vehicles, lots of unnecessary stops, breakdowns, schedule shifts and general inconvenience was holding them back, so earlier this year they unveiled an express bus service among a few midwestern cities that Mega also serves – plus cheaper fares for fewer stops, and nicer buses that include clean new restrooms, leather seats, an unprecedented amount of leg room, and uber-reliable WiFi and outlets.

Last week I took my third ever Greyhound trip on one of these express buses, and I had a blast. Here’s a little rundown on how it compares to Mega.

Like Megabus, every seat on the bus is comfy. But there are no tables and no upstairs seats, so they’re almost all the same in terms of comfort. I’ve never had a problem getting a seat I liked. My favorite, though, has been the disabled row seating – there’s a little bit of extra leg room that makes it comfortable if you’re traveling with a huge bag. [Be prepared to move, though, if someone with a legitimate disability needs it. Don't be a tool.]

Like Megabus, it’s been freezing. I was glad to have my sweater, and lately I’ve been packing a pair of warm mukluks in my carryon just in case. I know I’m going to appreciate that come summertime.

Unlike Megabus, the Greyhound bus is on a higher chassis, so I’ve never had a problem with carsickness. I tend to hoard Dramamine in my carryon just in case, but I’ve never had to use it on Greyhound.

Megabus is really consistent with rest stops – I know when I see the Love’s Travel Plaza between Indianapolis and Cincinnati, it’s almost time for a stretch break. However, Greyhound’s stretch breaks depend on what the driver feels like, so you may not get a chance to stop for coffee/water/lunch/an actual bathroom. It’s not a huge deal, but I’d like it if they implemented a consistent stopping place sometime during the trip.

I didn’t cover this in my Megabus article last week, but the restrooms on both Mega and Greyhound are fairly clean. Meaning, they’re cleaner than the porta-potties I used when I went to Coachella and Bonaroo, clean enough for me to use without bathing in antibacterial wipes afterward, but if given a choice of hopping off the bus and using an actual restroom, I’d do that instead.

Just like Mega, my favorite way to travel on Greyhound is with the expectation of doing nothing at all. I’ve been grabbing new music before every trip via Chicago Mixtape, among other places, and I’ve been buying books in case I feel extra-motivated, but mostly I just stare out the window at the wind farm. Super-relaxing!

Have you ever taken Greyhound Express? Did you have a good experience?

Autumn Sweaters [and Winter Ones, too]

amanda_lee — Sat, 11 Dec 2010 15:32:30 +0000

[one of the best songs from one of my favorite bands]

I am freezing these days, and no amount of winter accessory goodness is keeping me warm. I need sweaters. Unfortunately, I’m running low on them at the moment, and I’m shopping for them at the thrift stores at all the wrong times. My thrift expeditions have uncovered a couple of short-sleeved cashmere shells for under $3 each, but the short sleeves don’t do much to keep my arms warm. So I’m perpetually looking for perfect ones. Here’s a few that I love.

[smoky grey capelet sweater from ChicVintageWear on Etsy]

This is amazing – it would make all my sleeveless blouses winter-worthy. Looks really soft, too.

[rust orange and black slouchy oversized sweater from PocketVintage1 on Etsy]

This would be my go-to for every day. By the end of winter, it would be grubby and/or falling apart. Or at the very least, covered in dog hair.

[light grey wrap sweater]

I’d wear this daily to the office. With my pencil skirts. Because I’ll always be a Peggy, but I secretly want to be a Joan.

[spice of life cardigan from Modcloth]

This cardigan’s name is probably based on pumpkin pie spices. I love pumpkin pie. That’s why I love this cardigan.

[dream jewel-toggle cardigan from J.Crew]

This practically looks like a coat, which means I’d probably wear it as one during warmer days. It’s a little pricey, but I’d definitely wait until it got marked down. Obvs.

[leading lady button-up cardigan from MrsHopple on Etsy]

I’m about to buy this sweater right now. Not only is it amazing, and not only does it go with every single dress I own, but it’s featured in the shop of one of my good friends. Check ‘er out.

Hipster Hate?! A Response to Sarah Von

amanda_lee — Tue, 26 Oct 2010 01:05:11 +0000

[ubiquitous hipster bingo card, courtesy of captain_ambiance]

Awhile back Sarah posted a sum-up of something we’re all familiar with: hipster hate. Sarah wanted to know why it’s so socially acceptable to hate on hipsters. This is a topic that makes my blood boil, so I ruminated for a few weeks before posting.

First of all, the word “hipster” has been thrown about to describe everyone from the voluntarily impoverished and unshaven barista to anyone with an art school degree, a graphic design internship or an attitude of superiority; from hardcore bloggers who peer through their thick-rimmed Costello glasses to anyone in the eighteen-to-thirty range, regardless of profession or avocation. Anyone can find any number of “Are you a hipster?” quizzes from anywhere on the Internet, but they’re unlikely to be accurate [c'mon, Phoenix isn't a hipster band; I heard their single on pop radio smooshed between Gaga and James Blunt a week ago]. Simply put, “hipster” is a buzzword, but when you try to define what a hipster is or isn’t, you run into semantic problems based around geography, subcultures, and opinion. It’s a term often applied to me because I work at a nonprofit; wear vintage clothing; eat vegetarian ninety percent of the time; and have a blog, an Etsy shop and a band, but I don’t think that means much of anything, does it? [I'm not going to do the total hipster thing and say I'm not one, but it's really not a conversation I'm interested in having about myself. I'd rather answer a specific question about what I do or how I spend my time, mmmkay?]

Even though no one might be able to tell me what a hipster is in 140 characters or less [or at all], it seems everyone has an opinion on them. For some, they’re an easy demographic to resent, because they represent the cool kid that we never quite were: they know about sweet parties, but they only show up for an hour; they work in creative professions; and sometimes they do cool stuff before the mainstream gets a chance to. But for others, their habits are immature and stupid. They need to grow up. They need to get jobs and dress like the rest of us. They should stop co-opting the culture that isn’t really theirs. Even the ones who are most likely to be named a hipster by 99 out of 100 perfect strangers share this opinion in a kind of tail-swallowing snake of self-deprecation. So, let’s be blunt: hipsters are an easy target, and if you engage in any kind of hipster hate, it only shows that you’re no more original or against-the-grain than they are [because, let's be honest - when Urban Outfitters catches up to your style, you're not original anymore].

HOWEVER, I think Sarah missed the point. I don’t think anyone dislikes hipsters because of their aesthetic. The obsession with thrift store knicknacks, the thick-rimmed glasses without any glass, the full sleeve tattoos, the tattered clothes passed off as high fashion? I don’t think anyone minds any of that, and most of us engage in some of it ourselves. The bands none of us have heard of? We’d love them if someone played them for us.

But we’ve all been a victim of “It’s a really obscure band…not many people have heard of it…” when “This is The Drums. Want me to send you a copy?” would have sufficed, and it’s left its mark – no one thinks about hipsters anymore without interchanging the word “hipster” with the word “asshole.”And where we’re all totally fine with the obsession with finding new music, the habitual collecting of religious paraphernalia and thrifted goodies or the fixation with fixed-gear bikes, what most of us finds unacceptable is unfriendliness, arrogance and contempt toward everyone that have integrated themselves with all the other, more superficial hipster identifiers. That these attitudes exist in other populations besides “hipsters” is beside the point [see also: yuppies, fraternity kids, social media consultants]; the intensity of it within the hipster population, however you define it, has made synonyms of “hipster” and “asshole” in our minds.

So, Sarah, I don’t think you’re a hipster, because never once have I caught any glimpse of snobbiness or “better-than-thou” attitude from your blog, your Twitter, or your emails. But let’s be clear here:no one really hates hipsters at all. We just hate assholes.

My first blog profile? Really?! Thanks, Sarah Von!

The Minor Leagues are on Kickstarter!

amanda_lee — Tue, 07 Sep 2010 03:16:12 +0000

The Minor Leagues just launched our first-ever Kickstarter project! Earlier in the summer we recorded our sixth album down in Nashville, and now we’re raising funds to pay for its pressing and promotion. Fun times! We’ve assembled a great lineup of prizes and whatnot for our supporters, so if you’ve got some cash to spare and want to support one of your favorite bloggers working with some awesome musicians to make something great, check out our Kickstarter.

“Yes, and…”

amanda_lee — Tue, 31 Aug 2010 02:17:18 +0000

In improvisation, actors have a technique called “Yes, and…” It goes like this:

Whenever anyone adds something to the scene – a piece of information, a name, a fictive set piece – this is called an offer. Every time someone makes an offer, all the other actors onstage must go with it, and when they do, they use the phrase “Yes, and…” to segue into another part of the scene they’re adding. If you habitually block someone’s “Yes, and…”, then that means you’re stunting the group’s momentum, allowing the scene to move forward only under your own parameters.

Think about this at work this week. Are you a habitual blocker when you work in groups?

No related posts.

Do It! Write a Thank-You Note

amanda_lee — Fri, 27 Aug 2010 04:23:57 +0000

I’m starting a new feature every so often. The Do It! Challenge will be like a weekly challenge – a task for you guys to complete that will hopefully push you to new heights of style, wisdom, and friendship. Here’s how it works: Complete the Challenge. Send me evidence – it could be a digital photo, a screenshot, a video, a personal reaction essay, or anything that shows me what you guys did and how it affected you. Before I post the next Do It! Challenge, I’ll post a recap of some of my favorite submissions for everyone to read and discuss. Sound like fun? Of course it does!

So, here’s this week’s Do It! Challenge:

When’s the last time you wrote a thank-you note? I really love writing thank-you notes for two reasons. First, it’s a way for me to show my appreciation for something amazing that someone else has done for me–in a way that’s typically not expected at all. And second, I’m always striving to create a stronger sense of gratitude around me–thankfulness for little, meaningful things that otherwise would go unnoticed if I didn’t take the time to tune in to them.

So, I want you guys to think of someone that deserves thanks. Maybe you have a really dedicated friend who’s always the first to say, “OMG, that dress looks amazing on you!” and constantly brings you coffee and treats when you’re down. Maybe it’s a coworker that saved your ass in a meeting last week when you accidentally missed a deadline. Maybe you need to send a card to your dad that says, “Thanks for putting up with my shit!” (I send this same card every year to my dad on Father’s Day.) No matter who it is, think of a way you can thank them for what they do. Be creative; a thank-you note doesn’t actually have to be a handwritten letter. Make them a video. Write them a song. Bake them a cake.

But thank them. They deserve it.

Okay, kiddos. Send your entries to amandalee [at] amandalee [dot] org. I look forward to seeing all the great things you’ll come up with!

Freakishly Fun Flats for Fall

amanda_lee — Thu, 26 Aug 2010 19:26:11 +0000

I’ve been commuting in flip-flops for months now, because I can’t justify the beating my shoes take between the bus and the not-built-for-walking streets and sidewalks of Cincinnati. And I’ve gotta be honest: I’m totally done with summer. I know I’ve been very vocal about that lately, but honestly, can I please start arriving to work not frizzy-haired and drenched in humidity?

To that end, I’m ogling all kinds of commuting-worthy flats on Amazon, treating it like my own personal Netflix of shoes – whenever I see one I want, I add it to the queue and buy it whenever I’m able to. Here’s my current favorites.

[A note on the links: since there are so many links in this post, I'm not using affiliate links, because I'd feel a little greedy. If, however, you're feeling generous and you want to buy any of these in support of me and my blogging habit, you can click on this little shop I set up and get them over there. The shop even features a few that I didn't write about here, so check it out. Make sense? Awesome. Thanks for understanding!]

Nine West’s Facinate [what is it with shoe designers and their spelling issues?!] comes in thirteen different colors and textures. Fun times!

Newlyn, also by Nine West, capitalizes on the current pyramid stud trend.

DV by Dolce Vita’s Dina. More pyramid studs!

Berta, by Tracy Reese. This comes in a few different color combos. I think I’d like to wear these with riding pants and a cloche hat.

Melin by Steven by Steve Madden is a funky take on the menswear-inspired wing tips. I have to have these.

Guest Post Fun Times!

My first blog profile? Really?! Thanks, Sarah Von!

amanda_lee — Thu, 12 Aug 2010 17:18:00 +0000

Wow, kids! This is a huge week for me and this here blog. I feel like a famous person. Sarah Von over at Yes and Yes has put together an amazing post on freelance writing, and I’m representing the copywriting/copy editing corner of the freelance world. Awesome stuff. Head over there and check it out!

And, if you’re here from Sarah’s blog, HI! Thanks for coming! Have a look around and introduce yourself, if you please!

OMG Shoes [for ladies with bigger feet!]

amanda_lee — Wed, 11 Aug 2010 00:30:12 +0000

[A quick note: apologies for my absence yesterday. Sunday I got horrifically sunburned, so I was already in a terrible mood, and then I took a drink from a glass that I didn't know Chris was using to store one of his contact lenses. Yup, I swallowed it. And he was blind for the better part of the day. I had to run around and find him some new ones, a feat that was exhausting and frustrating. I'm buying him a pair of glasses, I think, so that the next time I ingest a contact lens of his, he's got no excuse for not getting new ones himself.]
One of my closest friends always balks at going shoe shopping. She loves it, but being of the Glamazon persuasion, her feet don’t fit into the shoes that most shoe shops carry – she wears an 11. She makes do – nay, she rocks her pumps and boots hard – but I know she’s envious of all us other chicas with more options. So this post goes out to her. All the shoes below come in sizes up to 11, and some go even bigger than that. I tried to price them at different price points and grab a few different styles – flats, heels, boots, oxfords, but no sandals.
['Cause you know you're looking forward to not having to wear them anymore, right? Autumn forever!]

[Disclosure: None of the links below are affiliate links. Sometimes I use 'em, but for a post as product-intensive as this, it just seemed overzealous. Make sense?]

Eric Michael Women’s Soho ankle boot: $135. Adorbs, and available in four colors. I’d like something similar for myself. [Note: Amazon didn't seem to have any more of these in larger sizes at the time of posting, but I found some on Endless.com, which I believe is one of their subsidiaries.]

Frye Jane 14-stitch boot: around $300 on Amazon. Fun fact: Frye is the oldest shoe manufacturer in the United States. Also check out the Frye harness boots for around the same price.

Love these Oxford Weave heels from All Black. $113.95. I’d wear ‘em with yellow tights peeking through. [Then again, what wouldn't I wear with yellow tights peeking through?]

Seychelles Gypsy sandals, $80-$90. I kinda want these to go a little more on sale and then wear ‘em for the rest of the summer. They look comfy.

Steve Madden Ulltra Pump,$50-$75. He’s got a penchant for titling his shoes with misspelled words, but I’m not complaining too much, because they’re pretty great for the money. This style’s available in tons of colors/fabrics/skins. Versatile as hell. What’s not to love?

Steve Madden Impereal T-Strap [Again with the misspellings! My inner copy editor is screaming!], around $60. They also make this style in red, but it’s sold out in size 11. Boo, Steve!

Aldo Sejkora, $14-35. In black and white. Aldos are amazingly comfortable and well-made, too – you’re getting a bargain.

Aldo Lubbs, $90. Embracing menswear-as-womenswear.

Jungle Java, from Indigo by Clarks, $100. Like something Gatsby’s lovers would wear.

Seychelles Lauren peep-toe pumps. $56-90. Awesome, no?

What shoes are you guys loving for fall? Do you ever have trouble finding shoes? Want me to do some research for you on shoes, fashion, or anything at all?

Guest Post Fun Times!

amanda_lee — Tue, 10 Aug 2010 20:30:15 +0000

For all my regular readers: I’ve got a guest post up over at Punch Debt in the Face. I’m wearing my personal finance hat, talking about things you can do while you get out of debt. Read it! You know you want to!

And for all the readers who are visiting from over there: HI! Thanks for stopping by. This is where I write about fashion and fun and design and dogs, among other things. You can subscribe if you want, or just leave me a comment letting me know you stopped by. You know you want to!

On Gender and Friendships: Getting Along With Other Girls

amanda_lee — Fri, 06 Aug 2010 03:20:55 +0000

[source]

I’ve recently been reading quite a bit of Two X Chromosomes over at Reddit for my daily dose of What The Women Of Reddit Are Doing And Talking About. And I found this thread about girls who have trouble interacting with other girls. And, oh, man, can I ever relate to that.

As a kid, I had normal friendships with other kids of both genders, until middle school. It’s a rough period for everyone, because kids can be jerks, but I was an exceptionally easy target for teasing because both my parents worked at the school where I went. And the girls were particularly vicious.

So I mostly stayed away from them, and hung out with kids from acting class and youth group instead – mostly boys. And by high school, when the girls had mellowed out enough to act kindly toward me, my inherent social awkwardness combined with my unwillingness to be a target anymore meant that I almost never had any female friends outside of the girls I knew from ballet.

It wasn’t until college, when I joined a sorority, that I forced myself past it all – being around a group of forty girls a whole bunch and having to actually solve problems together made me get over it. And even then, my closest and favorite female friends were ones that had gotten along better with boys all their lives. This is true to this day.

What I want to know is, can you relate to this? Are more of your friends guys or girls? Why? If you’re an awkward-around-new-female-friends type like I am, how do you get past it?

No related posts.

Linkspiration: 8.4.2010

amanda_lee — Wed, 04 Aug 2010 15:34:28 +0000

Upon Chris’s suggestion, I started using Delicious to manage my links. For awhile I Tumbl’d, and I’m still an avid starrer/sharer on Google Reader to bookmark the things I wanted to come back to, but this allows me to tag and sort a little better. So here’s some of my favorite lately.

[source]

Creative Melbourne souvenirs that don’t involve koala, boomerangs or Vegemite sandwiches.

Crocheted taxidermy by Elaine Bradford.

Five great online sample sales, four of which I’d never heard of. Nice work, Jennine.

It might be Shark Week everywhere else, but it’s Panda Week at the San Diego Zoo. One word: PandaCam. Say it with me: d’awwwwwww.

Apparently nonprofits are quicker to adopt social media marketing than universities or businesses.

Now a question for you guys: Do you like it when I do link posts? I used to kind of throw them up when I didn’t have time to write full-on posts, so a lot of times I used it as an excuse for not actually writing anything. Thoughts? Accusations? Things you’d have to whisper if there were grown-ups around? Tell me how you feel, guys.

No related posts.

Decor Inspiration: The Chroneos House

amanda_lee — Tue, 03 Aug 2010 04:23:25 +0000

Last weekend I spent some time with Molly and Ben, two of my oldest friends and hands-down my favorite couple in the world. Every time I visit we have an awesome time cavorting around Louisville, eating crazy meals, and sipping hot toddies on their porch. They’ve been hard at work on decorating their house, and I wanted to share it with you, because it’s so inspiring and cheery and relaxing.

Arched doorways

Open shelving below the television. Perfect for LPs, which they have a lot of.

Molly’s yarn stash.

Deco-style dressing table in their room. They found this in the garbage in great shape.

Welded wall art

My MacBook and Molly’s Hackintosh atop a Singer sewing table. I think Molly actually owns the sewing machine that went with the table.

Katrina – one of a handful of kitties that live at their house.

Open shelving in the sunny yellow kitchen. [Full disclosure: that bottle of sweet tea vodka on the counter? Yeah, that's mine.]

Lighting

Apparently this neat little crocheted bin is from Ikea. I’m going to try and replicate it.

Ben did some magic on Chris’s hard drive while we were there. Computer parts overtook their kitchen table.

A vase of swirly sticks. I think they’re supposed to be flowers. Either way, damn cool.

What our Sunday morning looked like – MacBook, drinks, seashells.

You can see more from this trip on my Flickr page. [Do you have an account? Add me!]

Things I’m Looking Forward to About Autumn 2010

amanda_lee — Fri, 30 Jul 2010 04:07:02 +0000

[source]

Autumn is my favorite season, hands-down. So even though the temperature is still hovering around three digits and I’d rather puke than put on a sweater right now, I’m looking forward to it. Oh, yeah, I am. Here’s what I’m going to love.

Pencil skirts in four-season wool with pretty capes. I’ve been on the verge of making my own version of this beauty since it started to get warm.

Colorful tights peeking through open-toed shoes and laser-cut boots. I’m going to do a huge We Love Colors order, of course.

Actually reopening my Etsy shop, because people won’t vomit at the thought of putting on wool hats. Sampling my own wares and throwing cute business cards at anyone who compliments me on them.

Attaching faux collars to any number of my vintage coats. Mixing and matching. [And occasionally scrapping and yelling and mixing it up.]
Finally growing my hair out. This actually has nothing to do with autumn, but I’ve grown it rather uncomfortably from my old asymmetrical cut into a choppy, weird bob, and it’s high time that I get it shaped up by a pro so it doesn’t look weirder as it grows out.

Cashmere. So yummy. My favorite sweater is a cashmere DKNY wrap sweater I got for five bucks at a thrift store. I must find more this year.

Easing into boot weather.

Motorcycle jackets. I must have one. I’m searching secondhand. If I can’t find one, I might have to assemble one of these cuties thanks to BurdaStyle.

Inadvertently always smelling like pumpkin pie spices. Because, I’m not sure if you know this, but in the fall, I make pie daily. And with it, I drink tons of cinnamon toffee cream-flavored coffee with heaps of spices. Yes, the autumn is when I’m allowed to be a girl about my coffee and my cooking, damn it.

Will you please join me in giving autumn a warm welcome so it’ll get here sooner? Please? With salsa on top?

OMG Shoes: DV by Dolce Vita

amanda_lee — Wed, 28 Jul 2010 03:33:41 +0000

So, right now I’m working on a PR/web communications contract at a nonprofit. Most every day I either bring my lunch or I get to eat the leftovers from one of many conferences and catered meetings held in our building. Easy on the wallet, and pretty healthy, too, as a health care foundation isn’t likely to serve me junk.

But last week, I found myself without lunch plans. So I walked over to grab some new mascara at the Nordstrom in the shopping center across the street. And then I found these.

These DV by Dolce Vita wedges were on sale for almost seventy percent off their original price. They are hip and comfortable and I love them lots.

I wore them out last Friday to Neons with some of my bandmates, and then Saturday to Ramsi’s with Ben and Molly on Saturday.

Later this week I’ll show you the outfit I wore them with.

Six Items or Less

amanda_lee — Tue, 27 Jul 2010 20:42:24 +0000

I spend a lot of time thinking about what I wear. Not only am I a fashion blogger who occasionally appears in photographs on my blog or elsewhere, I perform onstage often in situations when my physical comfort and confidence directly affect the quality of my performance, and I’m employed in an office that, while permissible, requires a modicum of professional dress in its employees. [Would that I could show up to work in a sunsuit and wedge sandals.]

In general, a lot of us spend a lot of time on our clothing. We spend a lot of time caring for it – keeping it clean and in good shape, sewing on buttons, repairing hems that come down. We spend a lot of time shopping for clothing that’s appropriate for different situations or that demonstrates our personalities to everyone that sees us. We spend a lot of time trying on different combinations and seeing what works. For some people this is wasted time; for others, it’s fun or relaxing. [To boot: please bring me all your shirts that have missing buttons. I love sewing on buttons. Afterward we will have a fashion show and I'll style each shirt a dozen ways. Fun? You bet.]

And the time we spend on our clothing is exactly the issue that the Six Items Or Less project is concerned with. Each participant chooses a wardrobe of six pieces [not counting work uniforms, sleepwear, underwear, and outerwear] to wear for an entire month. The instructions page gives the option for participants to make their own rules, which on the surface seems like a bit of a cop-out. The lack of hard edges means that it might stretch to the size of anyone’s closet, no matter how expansive. After further reflection, though, I think I rather like the absence of any hard lines. It’s not an anti-fashion or anti-consumerism project. Instead, the project focuses on simplicity and self-knowledge: What do I like to wear most? Why can’t I wear that all the time?

I don’t think this project is the answer to someone who currently owns 72 pairs of jeans and needs to pare down [they need a personal organizer], or someone with an average middle-class paycheck who’s impulse-bought $6000 worth of shoes in the past month [financial advising, ahoy!]. Instead, for people who already have a pretty good handle on their closet clutter and their personal style, it’s an opportunity to think more consciously about what they wear and what they buy, and why.

And, oh man. I’m in lockstep with their driving forces. I’ve worked hard in the past couple of years at reducing my consumption, proving to myself that I can get by on less. [Weren't wejust talking about that?] From day one, I’ve been all about honing in on my personal style so I feel confident and comfortable in everything that I own. And you know I love to clean out my closet, making sure to keep only what I like most.

My predilection for fashion means that six pieces would be a stretch for me, as does my tendency to buy only the kind of clothing that can be worn both at work and after hours and my habit of changing clothes twice a day. I’d be doing a crazy amount of laundry; or maybe I’d buy seven of the same dress, since the rules say that multiple copies of the same garment can be counted as a single garment. But it might be an interesting proposition to limit myself to ten pieces or so. Thoughts? Would you like to see something like this? Did you participate in Six Items or Less or would you ever?

How to Do More With the Clothes You Have [Instead of Buying More]

How to Do More With the Clothes You Have [Instead of Buying More]

amanda_lee — Tue, 27 Jul 2010 03:48:39 +0000

Know what you have. This sounds like an utterly idiotic suggestion, but here’s a tip: if I’d gone on a thrifting expedition before last summer, I might have come away with eleven different dresses that I wanted. Now, though, I might grab two, because even though I’ve pared down my wardrobe a lot since then, the current dress count in my closet is more than I’d like to admit. [The same is true for my handful of white blouses, which I tend to forget about if they're not clean, pressed, and mended - like if they're missing buttons - and then I'm all "OMG! I have nothing to WEAR! WHINE!"] Knowing what you have is the counterpart to knowing what you need, because it tells you what you don’t need.

[A related side note: This is another reason why you should really be taking wardrobe pictures. Since my camera died on me last fall I wasn't as good about this all winter as I should have been, but now that I've got the Cybershot I'm taking them more regularly. It's superhelpful to have a comprehensive database of everything you own and wear at your fingertips whenever you're shopping. Keep it on your iPod or your phone, or at the very least bring a friend along who can say, "Dude, you already own eight striped tops. Do you really need another one?" This way, not only can you effectively imagine what goes with what…you can see, for instance, that instead of buying that navy blue dress in your hand, you should wear one of the three navy blue dresses in your closet. I used to be very, very guilty of this, and when I started doing wardrobe pictures, I got better.]
Remember why you bought the things you bought. Remember when you got your red sweater? You bought it because it was neatly folded and brightly colored and displayed next to identical sweaters in green, pink, yellow, and purple. It seemed like a great addition to your wardrobe—it goes with neutrals! It goes with brights! It goes with prints!—and besides, it was chilly that day and you’d forgotten your jacket. It’s difficult to remember this, though, when that red sweater is now missing two buttons and crumpled in a pile on your floor. [Full disclosure: This actually happened to me, and I'm really ashamed. The sweater has since been fixed and is getting tons of use every day to ward off chilly days that are not quite chilly enough for a jacket. Which brings me to my next point...]
Make it easy to use what you have. If your favorite shirtdress is missing a button on the day you need to wear it, you’re not going to be able to. If you only own two pairs of jeans [like I do] and one of them has a broken zipper, your sartorial choices are going to be severely limited. If you get an awesome broken-in vintage t-shirt and then later find out that it’s totally see-through, you won’t be able to wear it until you get a flesh-colored bra. If you forgot to take the darts out of your blazer when you hit the seventh month of your pregnancy, you’re certainly not going to be able to wear it at thirty-eight weeks. If every single pair of tights you own is waiting to be washed, you’re not going to have anything to wear under your pants on cold days, so you’re going to freeze your bum off. In short, make sure that everything you own is properly fitted, in good repair, and laundered, pressed, and hung or folded neatly, and that you have everything you need to make a piece work.
If you can’t use what you have, turn it into something you canuse. Take the maxi dress you inherited from your sister and hem it to a cute cocktail length if you’re not a floor-skimming kind of gal. Have a friend replace the buttons on a cardigan if you don’t like them. Put darts in a blouse that’s cute but too big for you. Cut off the way-too-mini-dress and make a brand-new blouse. [Psst: Want some inspiration in this area? Check out A New Dress A Day. She's adorable, and she's making over one vintage dress a day for a year. Brilliant!]
Use all of it. If you own a dress, two skirts, three blouses, and three pairs of pants, think about how many ways you can combine all of that. [Blouse 1 with Pants 1; Blouse 2 with Pants 1; Blouse 3 with Pants 1; Blouse 1 over Dress; Dress over Pants 2; Blouse 3 with Skirt 2...] Now think about how much that tiny wardrobe expands when you add in sweaters, coats, scarves, tights, socks, and shoes. Mix up what you have, and your wardrobe will go further. [Admittedly, this is a lot easier to do in the winter than in our current ninety-degree hellaciousness.]
Buy smart. When you have to buy new clothes, don’t buy things you can’t use, or won’t use, or don’t want to use. Be consistent with your style [that's why we made a style inspiration guide, remember?]. Don’t buy things that are cheap, see-through, hard to care for, and difficult to wear more than one way. Opt for things you’ll wear a lot rather than things you only plan to wear a few times. You might have to spend more per piece, but the cost per wear might be lower.

How do you guys stretch your wardrobes further?

Cincinnati [and beyond!] Design, Fashion, and All Sorts of Win

amanda_lee — Mon, 26 Jul 2010 01:42:19 +0000

I went to a couple of craft fairs in the past couple months, and I wanted to share some of the goodness with you. You know you love handmade goodies, right? [All the photos below are courtesy of the vendors.]

SomeWeirdCrab makes amazing little plush toys and pillows, including some stuffed animal heads mounted like taxidermy, but way cuter.

If my dog weren’t already spoiled enough, I’d have bought him every last thing from Lyonesque – adorable dog toys shaped like meat and veggies, plus a few toys for humans too.

I’ve mentioned Abbydid before – she makes plushy little creatures, some of which are designed to hold your lip balm, your USB drive, or your cell phone. All of them, however, are huggable and sweet. [When Nick was in town last weekend, he became a proud owner of an Abbydid-created USB drive holder. D'awww.]

Steph Hagen’s Precious Pages is your one-stop shop for everything you need to decorate your walls and brighten your day.

More handmade plush thingies from Mr. Sogs – a little weirder, but no less adorbs. [Yes, it's worthy of the abbreviation.]

Chris told me he was going to get me a super-cute Ali’s Paw Print of my dog for my birthday. He’d love that. So would I.

Screen Queen had a huge array of screen-printed prints, bags, pins, and stickers that were equally creepy and pretty. Also, their business card has a dead rat on it, so of course I love them.

At Stop Traffick, your purchase is handmade by victims of human trafficking, and your purchase supports their recovery. Go get some already.

Sexual Harassment on the Street

amanda_lee — Mon, 21 Jun 2010 22:02:26 +0000

When I had my first non-Livejournal blog [good ol' Blogspot!], I did a weekly feature where I wrote about things that sketchy guys had said when they hollered at me. It was always bitterly funny, because of course, I’d prefer it if they’d actually treated me like a person and said “Hi”. [An old friend of mine maintains that that's the best pickup line ever.]

So, this is a well-worn topic for me. I’ve been hollered at by guys over the past twelve years or so, which is creepy, because twelve years ago, I wasn’t over the age of consent. And in the past couple of years, I’ve gained at least a tiny bit more aplomb in dealing with it – my typical reaction is just ignoring him, and if he presses on, I make eye contact and say, “I’m not interested.” Sometimes they keep trying, at which point I wonder if they’re hard of hearing, because I don’t think I’ve been less than clear about not wanting to let him “walk my poodle” or anything like that. And sometimes their continued attempts turn nasty.

[Sidenote: if I weren't so skeeved out by it, I might say that some of these dudes might make really good marketing copywriters - unique, succinct and to the point, though they'd probably not get the hint when someone hit "unsubscribe".]

Only a few times have I ever felt physically unsafe, but that doesn’t make me feel much better. I’m scrappy, but I’ve never been in a fight, and I’ve never tried to defend myself against someone who may have been bent on hurting me. And all my gymgoing aside, I’m not a runner. So getting away is only a remote possibility.

But even when I wasn’t being physically threatened, I got the message, all right. The implication is always “I could hurt you if I wanted.”

It’s happened to me in BedStuy, Brooklyn, and the Upper East Side. It’s happened in several different areas of Cincinnati spanning lines of race, class, and income. It’s happened at multiple times of day, when I was dressed in different styles and had different haircuts, in all seasons. It happens when I’m alone or with other women. It happens very often when I’m walking my fifty-pound dog and on three separate occasions it’s happened while I was walking with my [decidedly non-androgynous or -feminine] boyfriend.

However, I wonder: would I get these comments if I weren’t white? If I were older, or young enough to look illegal? If I were disabled? If I were dressed in rags instead of cool outfits?

On one single occasion, I looked at the company name of the truck the guy was stepping into as he said “Hey baby . . . ” and called his supervisor. I got an apology, but it still felt ridiculous.

What do you do when this happens to you? Do you talk back to your harasser? Have you ever had an adverse reaction? Have you ever actually made a guy apologize? I’d really like to hear your thoughts in the comments.

Second Sunday Stroll & Shop: Main Street, Cincinnati!

Birth Order

amanda_lee — Mon, 03 May 2010 15:00:48 +0000

[via Threadless]

When I grew up, I was an only child. I was also adopted – my adoptive mum had a reproductive disorder and couldn’t get pregnant, so Dennis and Marsha were lucky to get me. I used to imagine them picking me out of a lineup at an orphanage, influenced no doubt by my repeated pre-kindergarten viewings of Annie on VHS – . [In reality, I found out when I was older that my adoption was arranged privately through a lawyer, which is much less glamorous.]

Given this exotic confabulation, I thought that getting a younger sibling was merely a matter of my parents doing what they’d done with me – going to an orphanage and splurging on another new baby. I asked them often if they had any plans to do so, often giving them ridiculous drawn-out explanations why it would be helpful – “I’d have someone to play with when we’re on vacation!”. Obvs, it failed, because until 2004, when my dad remarried and I acquired four step-siblings and ten step-nieces and step-nephews, I was an only child through and through.

My single-child upbringing explains a lot, though. For awhile, people I met called me out on being an only child before I’d told them anything about my family [I'd like to think this is because I'm well-spoken, hard-working and mature, not because I'm a self-centered brat], and it sparked my interest in birth order as a determinant of personality.

The science isn’t hard and fast, but it’s sometimes fun to see how people fit the stereotypes – and when they break them. Check it!

Oldest children. Born leaders, these are the responsible ones that keep their siblings in line, and they’re most likely to go into high-paying professions when they get older. They’re willing to take one for the team and make everything easier for everyone else, but are also exacting and perfectionistic, often academic overachievers. One of my very best friends [and ILLILY colleague!] fits this to a tee, and he’s brilliant.
Middle children. They get the least amount of attention from their parents, since they never get to experience life as an only child [unlike their older and younger counterparts], so they typically put their heads down, work hard, and become uber-diplomatic and responsible. What this means is that they’re often friendly and helpful to everyone, excellent at bargaining and negotiating. My best friend growing up was a middle child, and I know she was sometimes frustrated with the lack of attention – but I’ve never met anyone so kind and accomodating as she is. What’s more, her overachieving older brother set the bar high, so she worked hard, kicked ass, and did well for herself.
Youngest children. These are the ones that break the family’s rules. When they’re so often the smallest and sometimes receive the short end of the family’s resources, they become incredibly creative and are often successful in getting attention in unorthodox ways. One friend of mine who was the baby of the family was the first in his clan to go into a creative field – a ballsy move when you come from a family where everyone else works in medicine.
Only children. Independent and quick to mature, these kids are the ones that prefer the company of adults from a young age. They share a lot of characteristics with oldest children, but are typically demanding where an oldest child would be accommodating. Most only children prefer to be in charge and don’t like taking orders from anyone. I definitely had problems with sharing and listening when I was younger; to this day, I don’t like to be told what to do. Ever.

So, where do you fit in? What’s correct? What’s incorrect? Any thoughts?

No related posts.

Why Fashion Matters

amanda_lee — Sat, 24 Apr 2010 17:00:57 +0000

A version of this post originally appeared on my site in August 2008, but it bears repeating. So read it again, kids.

I’ve touched on this before in some of my Inspiration posts, but it’s something we can’t afford to forget. So let’s go over it again, shall we?

How you look matters, people. And since we’re not always at liberty to change our own height, weight, bone structure, skin condition, or disability, nor is any one of us going to completely change the mindset and habits of immediate judgment inherent in every human being on the planet, the fact that it matters isn’t going away anytime soon.

And because of all this,fashion matters, too. What you wear is the only capacity in which on a daily basis you make decisions that communicate who you are, what you value, and how you feel. Obviously, every decision you make communicates those things, but think about it—does anything change as frequently or vary as much as the things you choose to wear?

Think about it. Your fashion choices demonstrate how you want people to perceive you—are you hiptastic, or do you have other things to worry about? Do you take your professional ambitions seriously, or do you have any at all? Are you confident, meek, sexual, reserved, wealthy, poor, individualistic, or a trend-follower?

What’s more, what you wear demonstrates how you perceive yourself. Do you feel good about your body, or do you dress to hide your so-called problem areas?

Fashion is a key showcase of your consumption choices and thus, your values. Do you go crazy for trends, or do you look for pieces that can be worn over and over again ten years from now? Do you pick out disposable pieces, or do you buy for lasting quality? Are you a green shopper? How does child labor and third-world manufacturing affect your buying decisions? No matter what your values are, they’re evident in what you wear. When I see a girl wearing skinny stonewashed jeans, for instance, I can tell she places a high value on current trends. Someone wearing head-to-toe organic cotton clothing and TOMS shoes likely values the environment and economic charity at least as much as fashion-forwardness. New Yorkers (or tourists!) who wear sneakers instead of heels definitely value their own comfort over their trendiness.

Also, think about it this way: it’s impossible to dress in a way that communicates absolutely nothing about you. If you dress as though you don’t care, the people around you might not be able to see how interesting and unique you are—less able than, say, if you wore your favorite colors or styles every day. If you follow a uniform code to the very letter, you’re still communicating something about yourself—your affiliation with the organization whose uniform you’re wearing [and also perhaps your loyalty to it—that you value the organization you belong to more than you value your individual expression, or maybe just that you value your job enough to follow the rules and thus not be stripped of it]. Likewise, if you choose not to wear anything, you’re making a pretty specific statement about your values and your feelings about your own body! And if you go really grungy (read: you skip on teeth-brushing and shampoo once a week at most; you wait six months or so before doing your laundry; and every item of clothing you own is stained, stretched out, and torn), you’re being unabashedly honest about the fact that you don’t give a damn about what you look like [or what anyone thinks of it].

[Sidenote: I used to know someone like this. And I'm not entirely sure how he held a job or met anyone, because he looked a hot mess all the time. I'm not talking about wearing clothing that was out of style or unflattering…I'm talking about holey, smelly, unlaundered clothing paired with once-weekly showers, if he was feeling super-motivated. Ew.]

So don’t ever let anyone tell you that fashion is dumb. It’s not.