Things I wish I could tell the 11-year-old me
Some of your peers are cruel and stupid. These are the ones you should ignore, no matter how loud they are. They may tease you for being ugly and graceless now, but you’ll grow into your grace and charm, while they’ll grow up to be cruel and stupid, just like they are now.
Grown-ups aren’t perfect. Your teachers aren’t always that much smarter than you are.
You’re very smart, but hard work matters more.
Your grades are more important than you think they are. Focus.
Your parents are going to say that you can’t do something; prove them wrong.
Trust your instincts more.
Ignore the teachers who tell you you’re bad at math. They see that when they look at all the girls. It’s not their fault; don’t get bitter about it; just move on and do your best.
Things I wish I could tell the 14-year-old me
You are entering a magnet school, where you think you know what you’re going to do for the rest of high school, all of college, and your entire career. This is an excellent opportunity, but if it doesn’t work out for you, no one’s holding it against you if you throw it to the wind.
Boys who degrade you verbally aren’t worth it, no matter how much they apologize.
Even if a dude is nice and sweet and there’s nothing wrong with him, break it off if you don’t like him. It feels hurtful, but the opposite is a lot worse.
What you do to others matters. Don’t be careless with people’s feelings.
Give yourself a break. You’re a smart kid, and you’ve become a really hard worker. This will get you 95% of the way there.
Your cruel and stupid peers from middle school? They’re still around. They’re still insufferable. Notice a pattern? Keep ignoring ‘em.
Anyone who behaves rudely toward you isn’t doing it because he has a problem with you – he has a problem with himself.
You can be spiritual without being religious. Try it.
Things I wish I could tell the 18-year-old me
Your self-confidence should not be based on your test scores, your grades, or your resume. Get over the fixation with quantifying everything and enjoy how awesome you are.
Meet more people. Meet more people who are different than you. This includes people your age who aren’t in school.
The categorical imperative isn’t a joke. Live by it.
Don’t underestimate how much you enjoy writing, dancing, playing music, and making things. It is a source of relaxation and inspiration, and probably will be for a long time.
There’s nothing wrong with holding a grown-ass lady job for a few years to finance your dreams. Office jobs aren’t the personal hell you think they are – try it for awhile and see.
Your cruel and stupid peers are still around somewhere. Keep ignoring them.
Finance is serious. Take it seriously. Learn more about it, because they won’t teach you in school.
Dating and sex are amazing and fun. Don’t feel guilty for enjoying either, but don’t neglect yourself to engage in each.
Rejection isn’t nearly as devastating or embarrassing as you think it’s going to be. Try to get rejected five times to your face. After that it’ll be no big deal.
You are capable of much more than you think. Believe it.
Things I wish I could tell the 22-year-old me
School is important, but not as important as you think it is. Focus on picking up skills that enable you to solve problems.
There is nothing shameful about taking time off to get your head straight.
If anyone tells you there is, cut them out of your life. They’re never going to see things your way. [This includes friends, family, and boyfriends.]
After you’re done getting your head straight, do something else. Be good at it.
Write every day. You know how good it makes you feel.
You will never get over your mum’s death. Stop pretending you already have.
Your capacity for failure is enormous. But just like rejection, after you fail, you’ll be better off.
Listen to yourself. It’s not a bad thing to do something different than what people are telling you to do.
Eventually, you should finish school. But only when you’re ready. And not a moment before.
What do you want to tell yourself at a younger age? What do you wish someone had told you when you were younger? What’s the best advice you’ve ever received?
Related posts:
3 comments
Erica Lee says:
Jun 17, 2010
Ah, you are absolutely wonderful/brilliant!
I think 14-year-old me would need the most “talking to.” It’d probably go something like this:
1) Yes, you’ve made some mistakes. But that doesn’t mean you have to keep making them.
2) Make some new friends from different social groups. They’re not as boring as you think.
3) Sex should not make you feel guilty, but choose your partners carefully.
4) Forget about being perfect. Focus more on being you.
5) Depression is not cool. Depression should not define you. You are your own definition.
6) Don’t sweat the small stuff.
and
7) Don’t listen to anyone who says you shouldn’t show off that body. Fourteen is as good as its gonna get! ;)
xoxo
K-Fray says:
Jun 17, 2010
I heart this times 3. This is like your very own, “Don’t forget Your Sunscreen” speech and all very valuable advice. This is so terrific. I’m going to have to think about what I would have told myself. I think you’ve given yourself good advice at every age.
Link Lust: Week of June 12-June 19 | ericaleexo.com says:
Jun 20, 2010
[...] say it again: Amanda Lee is brilliant. Check out two fabulous posts she wrote this week. One about things she would say to her younger self & things she wish someone else would have said to her before she moved to NYC. ♥ Blood [...]